"I'll meet you in the air"

Her lyrics are awesome. Just awesome.
When I pulled into that college campus last night, I was hit by a flood of nostalagia. That was the first cool part of the evening. Kids walking around with backpacks and books. That was me ten years ago. Ten years ago. And sometimes it seems like last week.
While I waited for Natalie I sat on a bench just outside the chapel and watched the students stroll by, some of them hand-in-hand and some of them rushing to get to their evening classes. I couldn't stop thinking that I wish I had been as confident in college as I am today. But I guess confidence comes with years and experience and wisdom.
Then Natalie arrived and after a quick hug we went into the chapel. It was small inside but it was packed to the gills. Then Sara Groves started to sing. And her words rocked me to the core. Her songs are so real. Her experiences are so real. She talked about how anxious and anal she is about her two little boys, and how she's thought of loading water guns with antibacterial hand wash and pelting their friends with it as they approach her boys. I'm storing that one in the ol' memory bank. : )
I bought two Sara Groves CD's last night and can't stop listening to them.
And Natalie. God knew I needed a friend like her in my life. His joy just overflows from her. At one point during the concert she got up from her chair and walked to the back of the chapel, and she stood there and raised her hands to heaven because she is so thankful for what God has done in her heart. When she sat back down she said, "I just couldn't sit down for that song. I know I'm weird." She has a bold faith that I envy.
Last night was fantastic. I needed it. I needed the inspiration from Natalie and the fresh reminders from Sara Groves. I needed the tears that came when Sara talked about how faithful God is.
And to think I hadn't really wanted to go.
Thank you, God, for leading me there.

"Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God's hand in mine.
Season by season I watch Him amazed,
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways.
All I have need of, His hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me.

I can't remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain.
I can't remember one single regret
In serving God only and trusting His hand.
All I have need of, His hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me.

This is my anthem, this is my song,
The theme of the story I've heard for so long.
God has been faithful, He will be again.
His loving compassion, it knows no end.
All I have need of, His hand will provide.
He's always been faithful.
He's always been faithful.
He's always been faithful to me."

I got a little gift tonight

Tonight was Bible study. Natalie (who I'm going to the concert with on Wednesday evening) attended a Beth Moore conference this past weekend in Milwaukee. Beth Moore is the author of the Bible study we're doing. Nat said the conference was phenomenal. I believe it. Beth Moore is one cool woman. I can only hope I know the Bible as well as she does someday. WOW.
Anyway....during Bible Study tonight, Nat handed me a small piece of maroonish-colored leather on which was imprinted the words "Jesus the One and Only". It is sooo neat! She said it's a bookmark and I'll probably use it for that at some point, but for awhile I'm just going to set it somewhere where I'll see it often. I think it's too cool-looking to use as a bookmark!
What really touched me is that she thought of me when she was making it. We're not that close at all. She leads/teaches the study and I hostess it, so we kinda work together in that manner....but we've hardly talked to each other, I mean just the two of us, very much at all. I'm looking forward to getting to just chat with her on Wednesday. She is a very inspiring girl and I think I can learn a lot from her. She came from a competely different background than I did, and I find it fascinating. Most of all, I am still absolutely floored at how God has changed her. It is nothing short of awesome.
It makes me think of the words of a song that made tears stream down my face at a youth retreat I was leading a few years ago. It's called "Forever Grateful".

You did not wait for me to draw near to You,
But you clothed Yourself in frail humanity.
You did not wait for me to cry out to You,
But You let me hear Your voice calling me.

And I'm forever grateful to You.
I'm forever grateful for the cross.
I'm forever grateful to You,
That You came to seek and save the lost.

God does that. He knocks at the door of your heart until you let Him in. He did that for me when I was a very little girl. And I have never looked back.
Yeah, I've had times when I've strayed and put my relationship with Him on the back burner. But those times never last long, because I can hear Him beckoning me back. You're My child. I love you. You need me. I DO need Him, every second of every day. I don't know what I would do if He wasn't there constantly, waiting for me to talk to Him and tell Him what's on my heart. To tell Him the things I'm worried about and the things that I hope He will do. To give Him my burdens and fears. Cast all your cares upon Me, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. He carries me.

Antioch

It's a town about 20 minutes north of here. I've definitely heard of it, but never been there. Sherri and Therese say I would love it so we're gonna go up there in a couple weeks! I guess there are lots of neat little shops there and a craft mall and stuff like that.
Had another meeting with those two this morning. I know I always say this but - they are nutso! Just wacko-funny! Anyway....I said something in passing about crocheting and Therese was like, "You know how to crochet?! I've been wanting to learn to crochet -will you teach me?" And Sherri said she would like to learn too. I said I'd be thrilled to teach them! So one of these days I'll have them come over and we'll have a little crochet class...lol. Therese said, "I would love to be able to make an afghan!" I think I'll start them out with the double crochet stitch cuz it's easy to teach and pretty easy to learn. Devon certainly caught on quickly when I taught her! They can make afghans with double crochet and then, if they like it and want to learn some more types of stitches I can teach them more. I hope they catch on and really enjoy it!
I started what I call "The Marilyn Blanket" yesterday and I am SO excited about it. It's a complicated pattern but once you do a few rows, it just totally clicks and you just go, go, go! It is one of the coolest blanket patterns I know of. You always use two colors for it, and it ends up being reversible. For this one I'm using cream and sage green. I originally bought the skeins of yarn I'm using to eventually make another "Kittens in a Row" blanket, but decided to use it for the Marilyn blanket. The colors are beautiful together. No clue what I'll do with it when I'm done. I'll probably end up giving it as a gift, maybe to Rachel for her birthday this year or something. Her birthday's not til November...but this blanket ends up being real thick and warm so that would be perfect cuz we'll be heading into winter! I do, however, plan to finish it loooong before November! ; )
It is SO awesome being able to make things like blankets and scarves and hats and bags and give them to people. They're such personal, unique things to give and I think people really like getting them cuz they're just so.....special. I like what my mom said once: "They're so special because your hands touched every single stitch." Pretty cool! I've only known how to crochet and knit for about a year and a half, and it is so hard to imagine not doing it! It is just the neatest hobby ever!
Wow. I am babbling BIG-TIME in this entry!
It's 11:30 pm and I should be sleeping, but it's one of those nights when I just don't feel tired enough to be in bed yet. The only doggies I'm walking tomorrow are Dakota and Brisco so that's cool. I think tomorrow night we're gonna go see "The Interpreter". It looks kinda intriguing. Hopefully it will be.
OH! I have really been watching my portion control and cutting back a LOT on junk food. And seriously - today I noticed that the new low-rise jeans I got last week are so loose now that they practically fall off! I might go to Target eventually and see if they still have the next smaller size on clearance. I have to keep up the portion control and healthier eating - it is paying off! I hate feeling fat. Hate it, hate it.
I really need to give myself a little pedicure soon. The toenail polish from the professional pedi that Steph and I had a couple months ago is almost completely worn off, and I desperately need to shape and file my toenails and repaint them. When we moved, I tossed out ALL my nail polish cuz all of it was old and getting gloppy. I have only bought one bottle of polish since, so I just have one little lonely bottle of nail polish. But it's a really pretty pink and that's what I'll use to paint my toes. I love having painted toenails. Makes me wanna go around barefoot more often. Makes me feel really feminine.
Hmm, I think I'm getting more tired. I think I'll play one or two games of Solitaire or something and then go back to bed. WITH my ear plugs in. He was snoring so bad last night I thought somebody was trying to hack into the bedroom with a skillsaw. I cannot stand the sound of snoring. It grates on my nerves SO bad. Amusingly enough, one of the loudest snorers I know is my mom! My dad is pretty bad, too. I would NOT wanna be in THEIR bedroom during the night!
Goodnight!

Met some more neighbors today

I was sitting on the swing with Safari when all of the sudden this little dude walks up to me with this big smile on his face. I said, "Hi, where did you come from?" He just kept smiling and then reached over to pet Safari. Then I said, "You live right over there, don't you?" and I pointed toward his house. He said, "Yeah", and then proceeded to talk a blue streak...LOL! His name is Jacob. Shortly, his big brother Simon came over and the two of them were talking and talking. Too funny. Finally I said, "What if your mommy is wondering where you two are?" And right after I said that their mom came walking up. I think she said her name is Bernadette, but I'm not really good at remembering names so I'm probably wrong. She was pretty nice. I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot of Jacob and Simon. They were a riot.
They have a boxer named Mia. : )

I need a topic!

I don't know what to write about today but I feel like writing something, so I picked this question from the journal question list:

Describe a perfect spring day and activities on that day?

A perfect spring day is 70 degrees, sunny, and just a little bit breezy. Activities would include taking a walk and chatting with Scotty (hand-in-hand, of course!), walking some doggies, and sitting out back on the bench swing with Safari, watching the birds. Oh, and sleeping with the window open that night!

Speaking of sitting outside with Safari, I'm gonna do just that til I make dinner. Later! : )

The dog walker

That's me. The dog walker.
People in this neighborhood are getting to know me. I see people while I walk dogs and sometimes we strike up conversations and lately people have even been waving to me out their windows! It so cracks me up!
Yesterday Scotty and I were in line at the post office...and suddenly I hear this guy say, "Shouldn't you be out walking dogs?" It gave me the freakiest feeling cuz I was thinking, 'HOW does this dude know I walk dogs?!' But then I realized that it was John, a Lake County Sheriff who lives in our neighborhood and has a rottweiler and a German shepherd! Too funny!
As corny as it sounds, I love being known as the resident dog walker.

I got a new outfit!

To wear tonight! A bright pink shirt, really cute jeans, pink shoes, and even black and pink striped socks! I love Target! It was all MAJORLY on sale!!

Girls' Night Out!

I'm really excited about tonight! I'm hanging out with my two pet sitting buddies, Sherri and Therese. They are sooooo funny. We're meeting at Chili's for dinner and then going to see "Beauty Shop"!
All three of us are NUTTY. We just play off of each other's craziness and it is a complete riot!
We've had three meetings so far, to talk about business stuff and exchange ideas. But this is the first time we're going out to just have a "girls' night". I'm a *little teeny tiny bit* nervous cuz they can be kinda flirty with guys and stuff and I'm so not that way (considering I'm very happily married!)...but I'm not gonna let it bother me. Sherri is 31 and married, Therese is 36 and single. They are great girls, though. I know we're gonna have an awesome time! I'm so thankful that I met them!

Oh my gosh, there's some serious woodpecking going on in our backyard trees!

Another dream

Well, last night I was trying to put my contacts in and they were the size of dinner plates. Not as funny as blowing bubbles out of buttholes, but weird nonetheless.

I wish....

....that Marilyn lived closer. She's a very good friend of Mom's and I have declared her as my honorary aunt. : ) She is the bomb. She's the one who taught me to knit and crochet. Yes, she created a monster!! She's hilariously funny and laughs so hard that she ends up having coughing attacks. She says what she wants to say without even thinking twice. She's a strong Christian woman who has been through a lot in her life and has come through as a jewel.
Spent the day with Mom and her today. We had lunch at a little place in town called the Whistle Stop Cafe. Our waiter looked a lot like Ashton Kutcher. Yeah, we had some fun with that one! He came to our table and asked, "Is there anything else I can grab for you ladies?" After he walked away I said, "...No, but I bet Marilyn'll grab something for YOU." That was when one of her laughing attacks hit. One of many.
She lives in Canada. Sucks that she's so far away. She does get down here to visit a few times a year, though, and oh do we have FUN when she's around!

One would think.....

....that assembling a bench swing would be a relatively simple task. Not so.
After three trips to Home Depot and several hours of blood, sweat and tears, we got about 1/3 of the thing put together today. I was hoping that by this point (4:00 on Sunday afternoon) I would be swinging gently as the breeze blew and the birds sang. But nay.
I am doing the next best thing, though. Sitting in the loft on my computer, with the window wide open. At least I can still hear the birds.

And ya know what else I have to write about? Yep, another warped dream I had the other night. It had my friend Heather in it again. (Maybe she's been showing up in my dreams because my subconscious feels really bad for not getting a birthday card out to her yet.) So in this one, Heather was showing off a truly amazing talent - blowing bubble gum bubbles out her butthole.
Will there ever come a day when my subconscious mind settles down and gives me a break? I most certainly hope so.

I had another Home Depot hot dog for lunch today. It was so good.

I feel bad for my hubby. I got my new laptop yesterday and I absolutely, positively LOVE it. He had to custom order his and has to wait a few weeks to get it. So he's all jealous cuz I have my new computer and he doesn't get his for awhile yet. It's like having a brother who keeps saying, "It's just not FAIR!" Too funny. Well....funny to me. Not to Scotty.
Yesterday while we were computer shopping, he asked me if I ever thought I would think of myself as a computer geek. I said no. But I am one. A huge one. But really, who isn't these days. Right?

It's a warm, sunny day. We didn't go to church this morning. I feel bad about that. I didn't wake up until 10:30 this morning, and church starts at 11:00. Drat. Next Sunday I will set my alarm!

Okay, the mouse on this laptop is the coolest. To scroll up or down, you run your finger along the right side of the mouse pad thing. It takes some getting used to but it's so neat-o.

I really should get the last four squares of the baby blanket done today. It would only take me about an hour. Maybe a little later. I'm having too much fun spewing out random, unconnected thoughts on my blog.

Shiny happy Wendy

Okay, I admit it - 99 percent of the time, I'm happy and cheerful. God has blessed me so richly and He is just so, so GOOD. I get frustrated and annoyed and angry sometimes, yes. But there is so much to look forward to every single day.
But last night I was bone-weary. Just SO exhausted from having such an incredibly busy pet sitting week...from going from one dog's house to another dog's house and back again! It can get exhausting. And I didn't feel like making dinner. I just didn't even feel like moving. I wanted to go to bed and sleep for hours and hours! And because I was so tired, I was not happy and I was not cheerful.
And when I'm not happy and not cheerful, it throws my dear husband for a loop. He thinks there's something drastically wrong if I'm too tired to laugh and too tired to talk and too tired to cook. But there was nothing wrong. I'm allowed to have a day here and there when I'm just "blah". It's just interesting to see people's reactions when I'm like that, because it doesn't happen often - and when it does, you'd think the world was coming to an end.
But today was a different story. I had a lighter schedule (just three dogs today) and I bought some new bird feeders and hung them up and we went out for ice cream tonight and Scotty and I just talked and laughed and did a few other things that I don't need to mention here. :)
And tomorrow we're putting the new bench swing together and that's gonna be soooo cool!! I can't wait to sit out there with the birdies and swing! (See, I guess that's why I'm so happy most of the time - it doesn't take much.)

Bible Study was so depressing last night

I hate it when things seem so hopeless for someone.

Last night one of the ladies in our study revealed to us that her son was raped a couple years ago. It's not too often you hear of a boy being raped. And it happened at knifepoint. And that boy has not been the same since. He's 18, and now he's rebellious and mean to his family members and makes poor choices and gets in trouble with the law and won't go to church like he used to. And ya know what? I don't blame him. I cannot imagine having that happen to me. It scarred him forever. He even tried to commit suicide.

And we were talking about why God lets things like that happen. He could have prevented it. He has the power to do whatever He wants. But He allowed it to happen. And none of us had an answer. But we believe that God will bring that boy back to Him and that when He does, He will be closer to Him than ever. We're all praying for him and we know God has a plan for him. And we read in our Bibles that sometimes God lets things like this happen so that His power and glory and healing will be seen.

And then our study leader told us that, not only was she a stripper, she was also a prostitute for eight years. And her step-dad sexually abused her when she was a little girl. Four years ago, she came to Christ and gave up her promiscuous life and now she says she can't even imagine being the person she was before. This girl is on fire for God. He is everything to her. SUCH a transformation. She is so inspiring and I am honored to know her. Last night we studied the passage where Jesus tells us to love our enemies and to do good to those who hurt us. He says that it is like heaping burning coals on their head, because they fully expect us to plot revenge and to get back at them. But when we turn the other cheek and show them love, they get confused and they back off.

And another member of the study shared that she was abused for several years as a child and that she still blames God. We are praying for her too.

This Bible study is so different than ones I've been in before. Some of the women in this study have tremendously rocky pasts...pasts that I cannot begin fathom. But they're all there, bless their hearts, with their Bibles and their hearts open. They're there to learn of our great and mighty Father.

I cried last night right in the middle of the study. They were tears for the hurt and pain that my friends there had experienced. For the violation and the torment and the confusion. I cried because I don't understand why God gave me such a perfect childhood. Such an innocent one. I never doubted my parents' love for me. I was never abused in any way. Yes, in more recent years I have had my share of difficult times, especially with my anxiety disorder and with how low that brought me a few years ago. But I have always had my dignity and my self-respect. And just like I have never doubted my parents' love for me, I have never doubted my Heavenly Father's love for me either. Not once.

But why? Why did He allow me to come to love Him when I was a very young girl and then never let me go? Why did He give me such a great life, but allow terrible things to happen to Natalie and Chris and Kathy? There is a whole different world out there that I've never even glimpsed. He has blessed my life so richly and I feel so unworthy and it seems so unfair.

But I praise and thank Him with all my heart. And I desperately want Him to use me - to use my innocence and my joy and my love for Him - to help my friends who have vastly different lives. It's the very, very least I can do.

Outside

Petoskey and Safari are laying by the open windows watching the birds that come to eat from the feeders. I love hearing the chirps and the singing. I love feeling that wonderful breeze coming in. It's spring.
All we have on the back patio right now is one lonely white plastic chair. But I sit in that chair a lot and just look at the trees and watch for the birds. It is so wonderfully relaxing. But it will be SO much nicer after they plant grass back there. Right now it just looks like a desert, with dirt and no grass. I think they'll be planting soon since it's been getting so much warmer lately.
And ohhh, if we get that wooden bench swing!!! I SO wanted to bring it home TODAY, but we have to wait and see what our financial situation is after taxes. Scotty was like, "Just twelve more days and we'll know if we can get it." It would be so perfect for out there. It's got a little built-in table in the middle (and two cup holders, too)! So we could eat out there and I can sit and do my Bible studies out there and we could just sit there and rock. It would be so very, very wonderful!! I could even read and crochet out there! I want it sooooooo bad!!
I wanna meet the new neighbors who recently moved into the next building, in an end unit. Looks like a young couple with two dogs, and a little boy. It'll be nice to get to know some of our new neighbors.
Anyway.....I just love this time of year. It's so refreshing to have the windows open and the sun shining and to hear the birds chirping. Makes me feel close to God.