A screeching halt?

Will everything come to a screeching halt if we have a kid?
That is my biggest fear, and I've been thinking about it a lot for the past several months.

I'm so weird, though. This past Monday Scotty and I had lunch at Applebee's during his lunch hour. We had a nice meal and just chatted and stuff....and right before we were about to leave, I looked at him over my Diet Pepsi and said, "I think we should have a baby." (This is when I wish there was an eye-rolling emoticon on this blog website.) He laughed. I don't blame him. One day I want a baby and the next day I totally don't and the next day I do and the next day I don't..... I am SO wishy-washy and I wish I WASN'T! Anyway....his response to me was something along the lines of, "We better talk about it again in a few months because tomorrow you will have changed your mind." He is so right. (Again, where is that eye-rolling emoticon?!)

So yeah, my greatest fear about having a baby: When we do, everything I love to do will just STOP. I won't have time to crochet. I won't have time to make cards with my stamps. I won't have time to read novels. I won't have time to bake special things for Scott and for guests. I won't have time to do my meal-planning and cook good meals. I won't have time to cuddle with my kitties. I won't have time to invest in friendships. I won't have time to keep the house nice and clean and organized and cute. There will be toys and baby junk all over the place. I will have to give up my craft room because that would be the nursery. Scott and I won't be able to just pick up and go out to eat or go to a movie or go get a smoothie because there will be the whole rigamaroll of getting the kid ready, or trying to find someone to watch the kid while we go out.

I'll be too busy changing diapers and feeding the baby and washing loads and loads of dirty clothes and wiping up spit-up and picking up after the kid and trying to entertain the kid and comfort him/her so he/she doesn't cry all day. And I'll be so dog-tired from all of it that I wouldn't have the energy to do any of the stuff I love anyway. That is so, so sad to me.

Sometimes I wonder why anybody would want a kid.

But (oh yeah, there's always a "but") -- then I think about having a child who is part of Scott and part of me and has a mixture of our personalities and features and characteristics. And I think of cute little baby clothes and a rocking chair in the corner of the nursery by the window where I could sit and rock that tiny person. And I think of that feeling I used to have when Mackenzie was a baby and I would stand over her crib after she woke up from a nap and she would smile SO big at me and put her little chubby arms up so I would pick her up. There is nothing like that feeling.....and she is just my niece! And I think of watching my child grow up and learn about God and I think about seeing that child bouncing on Scott's knee and sitting on my mom's shoulders and curled up in my dad's lap. And I think of what a good mom I would be......

I just wish I could make up my mind.

Does everything you love really come to a screeching halt when you have a kid? Or do you somehow find the time and the energy to continue pursuing your passions?

Sunday evening

And things are pretty boring around here.

It's beautiful outside but we don't really feel like taking a walk. We made a quick trip to Walmart this afternoon so I could get a couple more skeins of yarn for my Marilyn blanket. We also stopped at Big Lots, because I pass it all the time but have never gone in. Now I know why. Yuck. It was messy and dirty and the whole store smelled like B.O.
But Scotty found a really cheap fishing pole. I couldn't imagine why he wanted a fishing pole - he has no interest in fishing. And, of course, he wouldn't tell me what he was planning to do with it. My best guess was that he was gonna try to see if he could catch something in the little ponds in our neighborhood - but that didn't make much sense because I highly doubt they've got any fish in them!
Well, when we got home he tied the cats' feather toy to the end of the fishing wire and "cast it off" over the loft railing so the kitties could play with it in the family room. What a NUT. It totally cracked me up! I swear, the cats must have thought it was a real bird flying around the house. They were having a good time.
Right now he's downstairs flipping through the TV channels for about the fortieth time. There's nothing on.
Went to visit Bailey the yellow lab this morning. She belongs to my friend Julia (my Stampin' Up demonstrator). Julia and her family took a trip to Florida this week. Bailey is a very sweet dog. She stays outside in the backyard pretty much all the time - they have a little doghouse for her back there and stuff, so she just requires one visit per day from me. A nice, easy vacation dog care job - I like those. : ) And I have my usual visits to Dilly and Dakota and Brisco this week. No visits to little Yoda this week because they took her on vacation with them to Arizona. I will miss that little squirt!!
I hope to get a lot of exercising and a lot of crocheting done this week!
And reading, of course. Always lots of reading!

Sweatin'

I'm doin' it. I used to work out SO consistently and when we moved and then lived in the apartment short-term, I stopped. My only reason is laziness. Horrible, stupid reason.

Well, I'm back on the wagon and I'm STAYIN' on it, baby! There are a million and one reasons to exercise. I feel SO much better when I do it regularly. I have more energy, I'm happier (yes, that IS possible), I'm more confident, my clothes fit better, I'm healthier, I don't get tired in the middle of the afternoon, I'm more motivated to eat better because I don't wanna undo all the good I've done, I drink more water.....the list goes on and on. I'm GONNA keep it up. I love it!!

Been doing Leslie videos this week. It's really cool, cuz since I've done the videos sooo many times I practically have the routines memorized - so I turn the volume down real low and I listen to the radio while I work out. Makes it go really fast. Can't beat that!

Hubby's home! I'll be back....... : )

It's a new week

....and I am sooooooooooooooooo glad. I wouldn't relive last week for anything. I won't go into the details here cuz I'm tired of thinking about it, much less talking/writing about it. All I'll say is that those dogs zapped me. With all the visits and all the cleaning of all the messes and all the wiggling and squirming and out of control obnoxiousness of those dogs, I am READY for a new week!!!! This week promises to be a good one. My schedule is more normal. I cannot wait to meet Yoda, the little bitty pug puppy, on Tuesday!!! I happened to see her outside as I was driving by their house on Thursday and OH MY GOSH. What a little peanut!!!! I am so looking forward to working with her!!! And I have my favorites this week - Brisco and Dilly, plus a few others. Brisco is so fun, and so well behaved and SMART, and one of the cutest puppies I have ever seen. I just adore her. And Dilly is so gentle and calm and sweet. Seeing her every weekday is such a pleasure.

Mom's coming to spend the day with me on Wednesday! We'll probably crochet a little bit and maybe do some stamping, or a little shopping. We're real good at shopping. Too good....LoL!

Church was good this morning. I love the praise songs at the beginning of the service. They give me goosebumps and I love to sing and they just get me so pumped up.

Well, that's all for now. I've been crocheting this afternoon and I'm gonna get back to it. Oh, and I love the book I'm reading - "The Shop on Blossom Street" by Debbie Macomber. It's about a woman who opens a yarn shop and teaches knitting classes. Sounds boring, I know. But it's so not. The sub-plots are all very interesting and I have trouble putting the book down. Can't wait to read "A Good Yarn" next (the sequel)!

Cramps

Aunt Flo is now four days late. Today I'm having mild, wierd cramps. I think the reason she's late is cuz I've been extraordinarily stressed out this week. I think my whole body is in some kinda of doggy-diarrhea shock or something. I am sooooo anxious for this week to be over so I can be done with those dogs. This experience is teaching me a lot of lessons that I will use as I continue my pet sitting business - the biggest of which is that I will not take dog vacation care jobs unless I have worked with the dog in the past and know firsthand that he or she is housebroken. I will NOT put myself through this kind of turmoil again and that's a promise I have made to myself. I'm SO glad that Sherri and Therese came with me to their bedtime visit last night. They helped me so much and gave me great tips. They told me that they won't take jobs involving daschunds, because they have had too many experiences with this breed that are so terrible. I, too, will not take daschund jobs from here on out. Pet sitting involves setting a lot more "boundaries" for yourself than I had initialy thought. Experience is the best teacher, that's for sure.
Had my blood tests today at the lab down in Libertyville. I had to take two major detours because of traffic problems and construction. It was sooo annoying. Thankfully, I was only ten minutes late. The lady who took my blood was very unpersonable and didn't say much at all. All she said is that I'll get the results either by phone or by mail. I'm not really worried about the results....but it'll be good to know for sure if there are any abnormalities or not. I guess I'll hear in a couple days or so.
It feels SO good to be able to just sit on my computer and relax for the afternoon. I don't go to see the three puppies again til after dinner. And Scotty's taking me out for dinner cuz he feels bad for me cuz of the week I've been having. We'll probably go to Applebee's!
I'm really tired so I think I'll read a little bit and then take a nap. Is it next week yet?

Three puppies

I can't figure out why anyone would want three puppies. It would drive me absolutely BATTY!
Yesterday I started an 8-day vacation job. The owners are on a cruise. So I'm taking care of Matty, Cadbury and Abby. Matty and Cadbury are doxies and Abby is a cocker spaniel. The doxies are total spazzes! UGH - they drive me nuts! They're sweet, but CRAZY and quite annoying. They can't keep their wet noses off of me for more than half a second and I hate that. Abby is adorable and kinda shy and very sweet and I love her face. So I guess I've got a little favoritism going on - LoL!
I don't think I'll be taking a job with three or more dogs again. There are pet sitters who are better at that than I am who can do it! It's just too crazy for me. I will give myself a two-dog limit.
It's gonna be a long week.

Tolerance

I just don't have it. Not for homosexuality.
(Please don't post negative comments here. This is my journal, one of the only places where I'm free to put my thoughts down without fearing controversy. I truly want to keep it that way.)

It's not that I don't know any people who prefer the same gender. I do. And each one that I know is such a very, very nice person. And I like them. I can't not like them. And I shouldn't not like them. So...it's not that I have no tolerance for the people; it's that I have no tolerance for what they do. I cannot begin to fathom it. Merely attempting to fathom it makes me feel phsyically ill.

James. The very gracious waiter who served my friends and I our tea at the cutest little tea room this afternoon. And he served us our food. And after awhile he sat down at our table and, for some reason, felt the desire to share with us the story of his African American ex-boyfriend. A cello player for some orchestra. Ooh. Yay. Gross. Sherri and Therese graciously participated in the conversation but I couldn't. I just absolutely could not. Maybe he noticed when my eyes glazed over and started darting around the room. It was the only way I could think of to remove myself from the conversation without having to get up from the table and embarrass all four of us.

It goes against everything I believe. It goes against my whole being. It is so foreign and disturbing. I wanted to run out of that little restaurant and never look back.

My butt hurts!

I walked over four miles yesterday and BOY could I feel it as soon as I got outta bed this morning! My new little pedometer is pretty motivating. Yesterday I took over 10,000 steps! Today, however, the only walking I did was leisurely grocery shopping this morning and walking to Dilly's house and back. So far I've taken about 6,000 steps today. Maybe Scotty will wanna take a walk tonight since it's sooooo gorgeous out.
Okay, that's all. I don't really have much else on my mind right now. :)

Busy weekend coming up!

Wow! But everything that's planned is fun stuff, so that's good!

Friday afternoon - Going up to Antioch, IL with Sherri and Therese. I've never been there but they say the downtown area is really quaint and old-fashioned. And apparently there are some craft stores up there. Ooh!
Friday night - Probably a movie with hubby. We still haven't seen "The Interpreter"!

Saturday - Two visits to the FOUR puppies I'm doing vacation care for! And from noon to 4:00 is our first "Stampin' Saturday". I don't know how many ladies'll show up....but even if it's just one or two I'll be thrilled! I'm gonna make two Mother's Day cards and a New Baby card for some friends who live in Tennessee who had a baby boy in February!
Saturday evening - Church

Sunday - Two visits to the puppies again, and going to Mom and Dad's for a Mother's Day BBQ!

Phew!

Oh, and I made an appointment for those two blood tests that my doctor ordered. Wednesday morning. I hope they turn out normal!

Just whiling away a few minutes

I haven't made an entry here in awhile!
It's 4:53 p.m. and I'm just sitting here enjoying the smell of my computer and listening to a Sara Groves song. "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing". Her rendition of it is absolutely beautiful.
I'm waiting for hubby to get home from work...and for the laundry in the dryer to get done so I can put it away. I should probably be starting dinner but I thought I could put it off for just a few minutes so I can write in here. I love blogging.
(Oh, and FYI - my computer smells like......well, a new computer. I love it!)
So I'm back on the exercise wagon. I have been so "on and off" this past year, I hate myself for it. I am a happier, healthier, more confident person when I work out consistently. That's all there is to it. Some days it's just so hard to be motivated to JUST DO IT! I bought a cute pair of pink workout pants (capri's, kinda) for real cheap at Wal-Mart today, as well as a new pedometer to track my steps, so that motivated me today. Another really big motivation is that I joined Leslie Sansone's online Walk Diet club and that is so cool! There's a forum there where we all talk about walking stuff....and today I even did a 1-Mile walk that I was able to access right on my computer by clicking on a certain part of her website. Pretty dang spiffy!
Oh and I passed out the other day. Sunday morning. I was so freaked out, it wasn't even funny. As someone who had never even come close to passing out before, I didn't understand what was happening. I blacked out in the bathroom doorway and fell right onto the floor. I'm so glad Scotty was home and was only like five feet away from me when it happened. If I had been by myself I would've been even more freaked. I only blacked out for probably about four seconds, but it was terrifying to me. It was definitely long enough that I didn't feel myself fall, so that's probably a good thing. But when you're standing up one second and in a heap on the floor the next, yikes. I hope that never happens again! Went to the doctor yesterday and she said everything looked perfectly fine from what she could tell. I have to make an appointment to have some blood tests soon. Because of my long wait in the doc's office yesterday, I wasn't able to make it to Bible study. Poop. I really missed it.
Well, I better go get dinner started.
(Man, how boring was this entry?)