Bible Study was so depressing last night
I hate it when things seem so hopeless for someone.
Last night one of the ladies in our study revealed to us that her son was raped a couple years ago. It's not too often you hear of a boy being raped. And it happened at knifepoint. And that boy has not been the same since. He's 18, and now he's rebellious and mean to his family members and makes poor choices and gets in trouble with the law and won't go to church like he used to. And ya know what? I don't blame him. I cannot imagine having that happen to me. It scarred him forever. He even tried to commit suicide.
And we were talking about why God lets things like that happen. He could have prevented it. He has the power to do whatever He wants. But He allowed it to happen. And none of us had an answer. But we believe that God will bring that boy back to Him and that when He does, He will be closer to Him than ever. We're all praying for him and we know God has a plan for him. And we read in our Bibles that sometimes God lets things like this happen so that His power and glory and healing will be seen.
And then our study leader told us that, not only was she a stripper, she was also a prostitute for eight years. And her step-dad sexually abused her when she was a little girl. Four years ago, she came to Christ and gave up her promiscuous life and now she says she can't even imagine being the person she was before. This girl is on fire for God. He is everything to her. SUCH a transformation. She is so inspiring and I am honored to know her. Last night we studied the passage where Jesus tells us to love our enemies and to do good to those who hurt us. He says that it is like heaping burning coals on their head, because they fully expect us to plot revenge and to get back at them. But when we turn the other cheek and show them love, they get confused and they back off.
And another member of the study shared that she was abused for several years as a child and that she still blames God. We are praying for her too.
This Bible study is so different than ones I've been in before. Some of the women in this study have tremendously rocky pasts...pasts that I cannot begin fathom. But they're all there, bless their hearts, with their Bibles and their hearts open. They're there to learn of our great and mighty Father.
I cried last night right in the middle of the study. They were tears for the hurt and pain that my friends there had experienced. For the violation and the torment and the confusion. I cried because I don't understand why God gave me such a perfect childhood. Such an innocent one. I never doubted my parents' love for me. I was never abused in any way. Yes, in more recent years I have had my share of difficult times, especially with my anxiety disorder and with how low that brought me a few years ago. But I have always had my dignity and my self-respect. And just like I have never doubted my parents' love for me, I have never doubted my Heavenly Father's love for me either. Not once.
But why? Why did He allow me to come to love Him when I was a very young girl and then never let me go? Why did He give me such a great life, but allow terrible things to happen to Natalie and Chris and Kathy? There is a whole different world out there that I've never even glimpsed. He has blessed my life so richly and I feel so unworthy and it seems so unfair.
But I praise and thank Him with all my heart. And I desperately want Him to use me - to use my innocence and my joy and my love for Him - to help my friends who have vastly different lives. It's the very, very least I can do.
Last night one of the ladies in our study revealed to us that her son was raped a couple years ago. It's not too often you hear of a boy being raped. And it happened at knifepoint. And that boy has not been the same since. He's 18, and now he's rebellious and mean to his family members and makes poor choices and gets in trouble with the law and won't go to church like he used to. And ya know what? I don't blame him. I cannot imagine having that happen to me. It scarred him forever. He even tried to commit suicide.
And we were talking about why God lets things like that happen. He could have prevented it. He has the power to do whatever He wants. But He allowed it to happen. And none of us had an answer. But we believe that God will bring that boy back to Him and that when He does, He will be closer to Him than ever. We're all praying for him and we know God has a plan for him. And we read in our Bibles that sometimes God lets things like this happen so that His power and glory and healing will be seen.
And then our study leader told us that, not only was she a stripper, she was also a prostitute for eight years. And her step-dad sexually abused her when she was a little girl. Four years ago, she came to Christ and gave up her promiscuous life and now she says she can't even imagine being the person she was before. This girl is on fire for God. He is everything to her. SUCH a transformation. She is so inspiring and I am honored to know her. Last night we studied the passage where Jesus tells us to love our enemies and to do good to those who hurt us. He says that it is like heaping burning coals on their head, because they fully expect us to plot revenge and to get back at them. But when we turn the other cheek and show them love, they get confused and they back off.
And another member of the study shared that she was abused for several years as a child and that she still blames God. We are praying for her too.
This Bible study is so different than ones I've been in before. Some of the women in this study have tremendously rocky pasts...pasts that I cannot begin fathom. But they're all there, bless their hearts, with their Bibles and their hearts open. They're there to learn of our great and mighty Father.
I cried last night right in the middle of the study. They were tears for the hurt and pain that my friends there had experienced. For the violation and the torment and the confusion. I cried because I don't understand why God gave me such a perfect childhood. Such an innocent one. I never doubted my parents' love for me. I was never abused in any way. Yes, in more recent years I have had my share of difficult times, especially with my anxiety disorder and with how low that brought me a few years ago. But I have always had my dignity and my self-respect. And just like I have never doubted my parents' love for me, I have never doubted my Heavenly Father's love for me either. Not once.
But why? Why did He allow me to come to love Him when I was a very young girl and then never let me go? Why did He give me such a great life, but allow terrible things to happen to Natalie and Chris and Kathy? There is a whole different world out there that I've never even glimpsed. He has blessed my life so richly and I feel so unworthy and it seems so unfair.
But I praise and thank Him with all my heart. And I desperately want Him to use me - to use my innocence and my joy and my love for Him - to help my friends who have vastly different lives. It's the very, very least I can do.
posted by Wendy at 8:44 AM
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