A screeching halt?
Will everything come to a screeching halt if we have a kid?
That is my biggest fear, and I've been thinking about it a lot for the past several months.
I'm so weird, though. This past Monday Scotty and I had lunch at Applebee's during his lunch hour. We had a nice meal and just chatted and stuff....and right before we were about to leave, I looked at him over my Diet Pepsi and said, "I think we should have a baby." (This is when I wish there was an eye-rolling emoticon on this blog website.) He laughed. I don't blame him. One day I want a baby and the next day I totally don't and the next day I do and the next day I don't..... I am SO wishy-washy and I wish I WASN'T! Anyway....his response to me was something along the lines of, "We better talk about it again in a few months because tomorrow you will have changed your mind." He is so right. (Again, where is that eye-rolling emoticon?!)
So yeah, my greatest fear about having a baby: When we do, everything I love to do will just STOP. I won't have time to crochet. I won't have time to make cards with my stamps. I won't have time to read novels. I won't have time to bake special things for Scott and for guests. I won't have time to do my meal-planning and cook good meals. I won't have time to cuddle with my kitties. I won't have time to invest in friendships. I won't have time to keep the house nice and clean and organized and cute. There will be toys and baby junk all over the place. I will have to give up my craft room because that would be the nursery. Scott and I won't be able to just pick up and go out to eat or go to a movie or go get a smoothie because there will be the whole rigamaroll of getting the kid ready, or trying to find someone to watch the kid while we go out.
I'll be too busy changing diapers and feeding the baby and washing loads and loads of dirty clothes and wiping up spit-up and picking up after the kid and trying to entertain the kid and comfort him/her so he/she doesn't cry all day. And I'll be so dog-tired from all of it that I wouldn't have the energy to do any of the stuff I love anyway. That is so, so sad to me.
Sometimes I wonder why anybody would want a kid.
But (oh yeah, there's always a "but") -- then I think about having a child who is part of Scott and part of me and has a mixture of our personalities and features and characteristics. And I think of cute little baby clothes and a rocking chair in the corner of the nursery by the window where I could sit and rock that tiny person. And I think of that feeling I used to have when Mackenzie was a baby and I would stand over her crib after she woke up from a nap and she would smile SO big at me and put her little chubby arms up so I would pick her up. There is nothing like that feeling.....and she is just my niece! And I think of watching my child grow up and learn about God and I think about seeing that child bouncing on Scott's knee and sitting on my mom's shoulders and curled up in my dad's lap. And I think of what a good mom I would be......
I just wish I could make up my mind.
Does everything you love really come to a screeching halt when you have a kid? Or do you somehow find the time and the energy to continue pursuing your passions?
That is my biggest fear, and I've been thinking about it a lot for the past several months.
I'm so weird, though. This past Monday Scotty and I had lunch at Applebee's during his lunch hour. We had a nice meal and just chatted and stuff....and right before we were about to leave, I looked at him over my Diet Pepsi and said, "I think we should have a baby." (This is when I wish there was an eye-rolling emoticon on this blog website.) He laughed. I don't blame him. One day I want a baby and the next day I totally don't and the next day I do and the next day I don't..... I am SO wishy-washy and I wish I WASN'T! Anyway....his response to me was something along the lines of, "We better talk about it again in a few months because tomorrow you will have changed your mind." He is so right. (Again, where is that eye-rolling emoticon?!)
So yeah, my greatest fear about having a baby: When we do, everything I love to do will just STOP. I won't have time to crochet. I won't have time to make cards with my stamps. I won't have time to read novels. I won't have time to bake special things for Scott and for guests. I won't have time to do my meal-planning and cook good meals. I won't have time to cuddle with my kitties. I won't have time to invest in friendships. I won't have time to keep the house nice and clean and organized and cute. There will be toys and baby junk all over the place. I will have to give up my craft room because that would be the nursery. Scott and I won't be able to just pick up and go out to eat or go to a movie or go get a smoothie because there will be the whole rigamaroll of getting the kid ready, or trying to find someone to watch the kid while we go out.
I'll be too busy changing diapers and feeding the baby and washing loads and loads of dirty clothes and wiping up spit-up and picking up after the kid and trying to entertain the kid and comfort him/her so he/she doesn't cry all day. And I'll be so dog-tired from all of it that I wouldn't have the energy to do any of the stuff I love anyway. That is so, so sad to me.
Sometimes I wonder why anybody would want a kid.
But (oh yeah, there's always a "but") -- then I think about having a child who is part of Scott and part of me and has a mixture of our personalities and features and characteristics. And I think of cute little baby clothes and a rocking chair in the corner of the nursery by the window where I could sit and rock that tiny person. And I think of that feeling I used to have when Mackenzie was a baby and I would stand over her crib after she woke up from a nap and she would smile SO big at me and put her little chubby arms up so I would pick her up. There is nothing like that feeling.....and she is just my niece! And I think of watching my child grow up and learn about God and I think about seeing that child bouncing on Scott's knee and sitting on my mom's shoulders and curled up in my dad's lap. And I think of what a good mom I would be......
I just wish I could make up my mind.
Does everything you love really come to a screeching halt when you have a kid? Or do you somehow find the time and the energy to continue pursuing your passions?
posted by Wendy at 2:29 PM
5 Comments:
Wendy,
All of your concerns are real and I'm sure that you would have to re-adjust your life if you had a baby. But, I personally think it's totally worth the sacrifice, and just remember they are not babies forever. They grow up, fast. And you will have your time back before you know it. I think you would be a wonderful mother, and Scott would be a awesome father.
The fears that you have are something I'm sure we all think about before, while and after the baby is here. Heck, I know I feel that way right now. Giving up my freedom, my sleep, to have a baby. But to me, that sacrifice is so worth it.
Just pray about it Wendy.
Love, Devon
Wendy, The fears you have are normal.
Before we were married we did discuss if we wanted children or not. I said that I wanted one ~eventually~ but I didnt know when. (I was 20 and Dave was 26 when we got married) I had Tiff when I was 23.
I just knew when I was ready to have a baby.
Things are what you make of them, I felt like you did, that I didnt want things to totally change.(they didnt totally change ) some things do ,like you cant be totally spontanious with things and when they are little there is a lot of stuff to lug around.
You know I am anal about a meticulous house, my house was and is always clean.
I did not have kid stuff all over the house, Tiff had some toys in her room, we had an extra room that we used as a playroom where all of her toys were.
They are not babies for ever. When they are new borns all they do is sleep eat, and need diaper changes.
The way time goes by babyhood(if that even is a word) goes by so fast.
I really dont rememebr my life without Tiff.
There is still time to do stuff for yourself with a baby, it is just an adjustment.
You will know if and when the time is right.
Dont ever feel pressured by anyone (or society) to have a baby, if you want a
child(ren) you will know.
What ever you do decide will be the right decision for you.
:0) ~ Renae~ :0)
Psalm 113:9
love,
P.
OMG Wendy...that is EXACTLY how I feel!!
My line is "I barely take care of myself, I can't be responsible for someone else"
But... really, its all those yo-yo feelings you have so eliquently stated in your blog. (And, speaking strictly as someone withOUT children;I think most *do* loose a part of themselves once they have kids...the ppl I meet, anyway. No more just 'up and go' w/o packing the diaper bag, getting the car seat, bringing the bottles, etc..time as a cpl. becomes almost non-existant; talk about ANYTHING other than kids is rare...like I said, just my own personal observations. (pls don't stone the outspoken blonde girl)
Oh...but to see a little one who looks like you both; to hear those giggles only babies produce; to see EVERYTHING thru their eyes (full of wonder & excitement about life in general...)
And. not to discourage you more, but I'm almost 40, and I STILL have these thoughts; I hope you can work it out sooner than I.
;)
OKay....you have now been tagged!! Go to my blog to see what its about.
;)
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